In the comedy, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, a nerdy guy (Steve Carell) has never had sex with a woman. The idea of a guy being a virgin at forty is fodder for jokes. It also perpetuates the belief that a man still being a virgin at forty makes him a loser and not a real man.
As a forty-six-year-old virgin, I take issue with this. Not having had sex with a woman does not make me a loser, nor does it make me less of a man. The worth of a man should not be based on whether he has had sex or not. Besides, there are more important things in life to aspire to than sex. There is nothing wrong with wanting to experience it, but you have to put things in perspective.
Some disabled guys choose to use the services of prostitutes or escorts. As a younger guy I can't say I wouldn't have gone that route. I had my chances, especially while visiting Nevada and Amsterdam. To be honest, I had some regrets at those times. But, I'm glad I didn't go that route. I would prefer to have sex with a woman I know, and love.
It is possible that I may remain a virgin for the rest of my life. I am not pleased with this prospect, but that is life. My life is not over because of that. But, when a pleasure is denied, it is human nature to want to experience it.
5 comments:
I'm glad to see you writing about *all* the experiences of your life. I'm mostly glad to know that you don't see yourself as any less of a person because of your experiences in life. I am sure that in so many ways you are more of a person than many.
Amen John
I agree with you. You know, when my son was growing up I told him that having sex with multiple women does NOT make someone a man. Any dog can do that. Being a real man-or woman-comes from within.
We are spiritual beings having a human experience. We are more than just our bodies and sex is overrated. I commend your decision and if anyone that has a problem with that they are the loser.
I'm 23 with Dmd, I agree with you about sex with someone you know and truly love. Because of my religious upbringing (or could it just be me personally?) I would have deep regret for having sex with an escort/prostitute. In some strange way, my brain might think that that would satisfy me, but I'm sure it wouldn't. Lust is only ever satisfied for a small moment. I would just want more and more. Reserved for someone I truly could love.
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